Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
