1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy