This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza