the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.