So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.