Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist