I think my fart just growled at me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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