what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
