Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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