why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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