i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
