You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
