I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
