I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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