if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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