i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
