so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize