Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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