doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
