Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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