you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
