I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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