"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize