i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.