shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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