I feel great
I just peed on a car
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize