Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
