Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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