clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
