Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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