I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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