I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
