well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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