I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
