I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My feet surprised me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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