At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
