Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
