let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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