I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
