Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
