i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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