did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize