So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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