Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
