I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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