oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
People in love make me want to vomit
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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