Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
