DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
