CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
