People in love make me want to vomit
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked