Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
