We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
babies were throwing up all over the place
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
