I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize