Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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