i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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