Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
