Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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