We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
