Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize