mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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