I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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