Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I party with great urgency now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
