Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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