You're completely useless in the revolution.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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