Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
