my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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