do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
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I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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